Inter-subjectivity and reciprocity in the couple's relationship: the psychoanalytic perspective

In recent years, distancing themselves from the structural model of drives and the traditional idea of an isolated mental apparatus driven fundamentally by compromises between conflicting internal forces, several scholars (Mitchell, 1988; Aron, 1996) have placed emphasis on interpersonal processes, in the sense that the growth and formation of psychic functions depend on the type and quality of the intersubjective encounter. From this point of view, affectivity is understood as a "property" of a mutually self-regulating system formed by two or more individuals and as a constant characteristic throughout the life cycle. That is, the partners involved in a sentimental relationship would organise their own reciprocal and specific capacity to regulate emotional states, in order to obtain a certain internal balance between a sense of "distance and closeness". From this point of view, today's work with couples must consider the use that the partners make of the relationship with respect to the function of reciprocal self and hetero regulation and the processes that are put in place to achieve these objectives.